How to Clean Gesso out of your Mother's Carpet

(There is no way the title of this post can be a double entendre.)

I AM GESSO, THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE.
NOTE: The lids pop off of these suckers more easily than they seem.

Step 1 - Don't panic. You've lived a life of honesty and trust so far with your parents. This is just the same as that time you tore off the front bumper of your car against a barrel or that time you punched a hole in the wall with your tv set.

Step 2 - Scoop it up. You know how expensive that shit is! Put it back in the container where it belongs!

Step 3 - Call Mom. Perhaps she'll know what to do what with her experience of being as big a klutz as you (i.e. falling off of a ladder while trying to lean on a wall).

Step 4 - COLD WATER. Use multiple crappy rags soaked in water and scrub, Scrub, SCRUB away. Switch rags when they're covered. Don't fret. You have tons of rags you can toss away.

Step 5 - Vinegar. When the white of the gesso has started to fade away, grab vinegar. Vinegar will dissolve the acrylic in gesso. Scrub away.

Step 6 - Repeat steps 4 and 5 until the gesso is 100% less noticeable than when you first dumped it.

Step 7 - Mourn your wallet. Especially if that was high quality gesso you bought the other day.

Step 8 - Sleep. God, that scrubbing took all of the energy out of me. Sorry, doggies, no walks for the next month.